The Mars project, announced as a priority by the president at a White House press conference, has been quickly forgotten. So irritated was our local space whacko, Wilson Monroe, that he announced he would undertake and complete a Mars landing long before NASA even remembers that they were supposed to do it.The town had been wondering for quite a while what had been going on over at the Monroe place. It started with small explosions and stuff flying into the air and falling back to earth. Then as a last straw, his barn blew up and pieces were found up to a quarter of a mile away. It was an unused barn so no animals were hurt in the blast although some pigeons were seen approaching 100 miles an hour while flying with the debris. Well the noise and curiosity finally caught up with most of the towns people and questions were asked. As it turns out Monroe had come to the conclusion that the only way to power a rocket ship that was within his budget was to use methane gas. Since he has a constant source of methane emissions coming from his dairy cattle herd he figured, why not. Once he decided on the source, his next decision was how to store it. Wilson started by using an old water heater which promptly blew its top and ended up going through the roof of the barn. He then moved on to another tank of unknown origin which also blew up causing another hole in the roof. Finally he figured since he had an old unused 1,000 gallon milk storage tank he wasn’t using anymore that he could convert it to store the gas. Everything went fine until a rusty seam on the tank started to leak and an arc from a faulty electrical connection set the methane off. It blew out every window on his farm and spread corn cobs and hay 300 feet in every direction, it was quite a sight. The local birds, although slightly dazed, were having a wonderful time. Monroe has put his Mars project on hold until his dizziness is gone and his hearing is back to normal.
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